I have been detaching more and more lately. Changing priorities. Doing my artwork still remains high on the list. But other factors have become important as well. Health, family and personal goals...there is a reason why personal goals are called..."personal".
This March I will be cancer free for three years, I think I am calculating that right. If I recall correctly, my last chemo was March of 2013. It has been a hell of a ride, lots of lessons learned, lots of wisdom gained...much personal loss and sacrifice. But in the moment, I am right where I need to be.
Healing is a slow process and thankfully, time has been on my side.
When you cannot be what others want you to be...be who you are meant to be. It is really as simple as that. You have to face the harsh reality that people will leave...that they will not approve of the choices you make, that they will discuss you, judge you and dismiss you. But in the end, it is you that you have to face in the mirror, not them.
Sometimes there is no graceful way of doing it. But there is a time you have to take care of yourself.
It is those people that understand that are gold. Usually they are people that went through hard times themselves. Whether it is illness, family issues, divorce, financial wreckage, social rejection etc. at some level they hit ruin and through it all realized their worth and recognize the scars in others. They don't become bitter, they become something more human.
It is a metaphor for death and resurrection.
I personally don't believe in spiritual ladders that you can climb upon and look down at the rest of humanity. The whole concept speaks of a certain spiritual arrogance to me, like incense that is too sweet and hides an inner rot.
Sometimes you have to open wounds to let the festering infection out. Healing takes time.
And to those that are afflicted, time is on your side.
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